Aiman on Being Trans, Being Seen and Why Happiness Is the Goal

For Aiman, authenticity has always been the brand. Known to many in Singapore as an influencer, and more recently as the lead in Home Par, Aiman is also one of the four voices behind The Unfiltered Gays, the candid podcast where, in Aiman’s words, every personal story shared on air is “unfortunately” true.

Season 4 marks a new chapter for the show: a new set at Carnival Haus on Neil Road, better production and, for the first time, live audiences. It also opens with an episode on transphobia, a subject that is personal for Aiman, who came to fully identify as trans within the past year.

Ahead of the season, we spoke to Aiman about taking on that responsibility, the difference between playing oneself online and playing someone else on screen, and why stories about people in the intersections of identity shouldn’t always be stories of hardship.

⁠Question 1: ⁠Season 4 is here. How would you describe your part in it, and what drew you to it?

The Unfiltered Gays is hosted by four panellists: Sean, Kieran, Isaac and me. I’d like to think we’re each there for a reason, because we all bring something very different to the table.

From Left: Isaac, Sean, Kieran, Aiman

Sean is what we lovingly, and sometimes begrudgingly, call Madam Director. He’s the brains and mastermind behind the entire production: he brings us together, puts the set together and even comes up with the topics and flow of each episode.

To be honest, though, none of us particularly enjoys reading the questions beforehand, because we want to keep things as unfiltered as possible.

Kieran is our resident villain. He asks the hard-hitting questions and brings up all the things people think about but would normally dismiss as intrusive thoughts.

Then there’s Isaac. People might assume he’s just the visual of the group, but he’s so much more than that. He’s also our resident ancient gay, being the oldest among us at a whopping 38, I believe. 😂 Jokes aside, he brings a wealth of lived experience, not just as a gay man but also as a business owner who has been in the industry for years.

And then there’s me. Well, I’m everything else: the beauty, the joy, the comedic timing. I’m also usually the mediator between the other three, although I have a terrible habit of saying things without thinking. The number of personal stories I’ve shared on this podcast is honestly wild, and unfortunately, every single one of them is true.

But I think what makes the podcast work is that we’re genuinely friends. We all have our own lives to get through, so the show has become a wonderful excuse to catch up every month, sit down, chit-chat and have a good laugh. And apparently our viewers enjoy watching us do that too, so we just keep going!

Question 2: The first episode tackles transphobia. Why was it important to open the season with that subject?

This topic is particularly close to my heart because I only came to fully identify as trans within the past year, following a health scare.

It was one of those moments that made me stop and reassess my life. I realised that, as the kids would say, I wasn’t exactly lifemaxxing. I wasn’t living as authentically as I could have been, despite having always championed authenticity and built my personal brand around it.

I’m incredibly thankful to Sean and the team for giving us the space to open the season with this conversation. In many ways, it marks a new chapter for me personally, but more importantly, it gives us a chance to talk about a community within our own community that continues to face stereotypes, misconceptions and judgement.

I think it’s important that we give trans people the space, visibility and flowers they deserve. If this episode can help our audience, and perhaps even people outside our community, understand us a little better and challenge some of the stigmas around trans identities, then I think we’ve already achieved something meaningful.

Question 3: What was it like to film those scenes, and what do you hope viewers, especially those who’ve never had to think about this issue, take away from that episode?

Honestly, it was nerve-wracking!

One of my biggest concerns was the responsibility that came with having this conversation. I don’t think I can, or should, represent an entire demographic. We’re all individuals with our own experiences, opinions and perspectives, and being trans doesn’t mean we all think or feel the same way.

At the same time, I was very conscious of not wanting to unintentionally add to the existing judgement and stigma surrounding my own community. That responsibility felt huge.

But ultimately, I hope viewers walk away understanding one simple thing: trans people are people too. We have families, careers, relationships, insecurities, ambitions and all the same wonderfully mundane experiences that make us human.

You don’t have to understand someone’s entire journey to treat them with kindness and respect. If viewers can take that away from the episode, then I can say I’ve done my part. Hehe.

Question 4: ⁠What can viewers expect from the rest of the season that they haven’t seen before, from you or from the series?

OMG, we have a whole new set!

We’ve partnered with Carnival Haus on Neil Road, and it’s really a step up in terms of production. We’ve got proper lighting, better audio, drinks and, for the first time, LIVE AUDIENCES!

So viewers can expect a whole different energy. There’ll be live reactions, people agreeing with us, people disagreeing with us, perhaps even a little heckling. Who knows what might happen when you put four gays together in front of a live audience with absolutely no filter?

That’s the beauty of it. We’re creating an environment where conversations can happen organically, and I think having an audience physically present adds another dimension to the experience.

More laughs, more opinions and probably more things I’ll regret saying afterwards. But that’s The Unfiltered Gays!

Question 5: ⁠Which moment from the season are you proudest of, and why?

What I’m most proud of is the reach we’ve managed to achieve so far.

The podcast has started to reach the hearts of people within the LGBTQ+ community, and that means a lot to me. Despite the name, The Unfiltered Gays is, in many ways, a love letter to our community. It’s a space where people can listen, relate and feel a little less alone through our shared experiences.

There’s something really special about watching a live audience react to something we’ve said: people laughing, nodding in agreement, pointing at each other when something hits a little too close to home, or even shouting out an opinion of their own.

Those moments make me incredibly proud because they remind me that these conversations matter. We’re not just sitting around talking for the sake of it. We’re creating a space where people can see a little bit of themselves in us, and hopefully feel at home.

Question 6: Many people in Singapore know you as an influencer, and Home Par gave you a lead acting role. How different is acting from creating content for your own platform?

Honey, acting is an entirely different ball game!

I’ve been acting for most of my life. I was in drama clubs throughout primary and secondary school, took on lead acting roles in dance productions, and spent a good portion of my younger years pretending to be straight until I was 17. I’ve also done cameos and pilot productions with Mediacorp.

The biggest difference, I think, is that content creation has always been centred on me: my personality, my experiences, my opinions and the way I see the world. I’m essentially playing myself, just with a little more editing and occasionally better lighting.

Acting, on the other hand, allows me to step outside of myself and become someone entirely different. I get to explore another person’s emotions, motivations and experiences, and tell a story through their eyes.

I’ve always enjoyed that process. There’s something quite liberating about putting yourself aside and inhabiting another character. So while content creation is what I’ve built my career around, acting has always been a passion I want to explore further.

Question 7: You've spoken about being a minority within a minority as a genderfluid person. What do you wish mainstream Singapore media understood about that experience?

For a very long time, I struggled to find a place where I truly belonged because my identity always seemed a little too niche.

I was literally told that I was too gay and too feminine for the gay community in Singapore, not masculine or straight-passing enough for straight men, and not Malay enough for my own Malay community.

Imagine constantly being told that you’re too much of something in one space, yet somehow not enough in another. It can be incredibly isolating when you don’t fit into any of the boxes society has created for you.

When I started embracing my genderfluid identity, and eventually came to understand myself as trans, a lot of things finally started making sense. It felt like pieces of a puzzle falling into place.

But above all, I wish mainstream media would show that it’s entirely possible to live a full, happy and successful life while existing at the intersections of identity.

So often, stories about minorities, and particularly those within minorities, are framed around hardship, rejection, trauma or mental health struggles. While those stories absolutely deserve to be told, I also want people to see what happens after that.

I want them to see that someone like me can be happy, build a career, fall in love, have ambitions, make money, wear whatever the hell I want and live a wonderfully ordinary life.

I don’t always have to be a cautionary tale or a statistic brought up on Mental Health Day.

I can simply be a person who’s doing fine, and I think there’s something incredibly powerful about showing that too.

Question 8: ⁠On The Unfiltered Gays Podcast, conversations range from light to very personal. What’s a topic you’ve found surprisingly hard, or surprisingly freeing, to talk about openly?

I think every episode has something that catches us by surprise. We’ve gone from discussing the wildest sexual encounters to unpacking our National Service experiences. There’s really no telling where a conversation will go once we get started.

But for me, one of the most freeing conversations was opening up about loneliness within the gay community, and the fact that I’ve been single pretty much all my life.

It’s something I’ve never really thought about saying out loud, let alone discussing in front of an audience. There’s this perception that being part of the gay community automatically means you’re surrounded by people, constantly dating or having an exciting social life.

But you can be surrounded by people and still feel incredibly lonely.

Being able to articulate that feeling, have the other guys validate my experiences and, of course, collectively blame my questionable choice in men was surprisingly therapeutic.

Sometimes you don’t need someone to give you a solution. You just need people who understand what you’re saying and remind you that you’re not alone in feeling that way.

Question 9: ⁠In your view, what makes an LGBTQ+ story on screen feel honest rather than stereotyped?

OMG, you can absolutely tell when a character has been written by someone who doesn’t really understand the community or hasn’t taken the time to understand our experiences.

Sometimes it feels like the moment a character is identified as LGBTQ+, they’re immediately assigned a collection of stereotypes. They’re either struggling with drugs, engaging in inappropriate behaviour, portrayed as predatory or written as someone whose entire existence revolves around their sexuality.

And I think that’s where the disconnect happens.

An honest LGBTQ+ story has heart. You can tell when a writer has taken the time to understand the people they’re writing about, rather than simply using their identity as a plot device.

It’s in the little details, the nuances, the relationships, the insecurities and even the ridiculous everyday situations that we find ourselves in.

You should be able to relate to a character, root for them, cry with them, get frustrated with them and even get mad at them. Their identity should be part of who they are, but it shouldn’t be the only thing that defines them.

Ultimately, good representation isn’t just about having an LGBTQ+ character on screen. It’s about making that character feel like a real person. That’s what gives a story heart.

Question 10: You’ve said you want to show people who look like you that they can still be successful. What does success look like for you in the next five years?

Happiness.

I think, more than anything, I want to reach a point where I’m completely comfortable in my own skin and have the freedom to make the choices I want for myself, without constantly feeling the need to explain or justify them

Whether that means being decked out in full leopard print, having blue-coloured hair, strutting around in Chanel or simply waking up and deciding that I want to do absolutely nothing that day. I want to live a life that feels authentically mine.

I think we sometimes place too much emphasis on success being measured by how much money you make, how many followers you have or how recognisable your name becomes. And don’t get me wrong, I love a good pay cheque and a little attention. I’m only human!

But lord knows there are plenty of people in this industry who have all the money, followers and recognition in the world, yet are still incredibly unhappy and lonely.

For me, success is being able to wake up every morning feeling grateful to be alive, knowing that I’m living a life I’ve chosen for myself, and finding happiness even when things don’t always go according to plan.

And if, somewhere along the way, I can show someone who looks like me that they don’t have to compromise who they are to achieve that kind of life, then that’s even better.

Because ultimately, I don’t just want people like me to see that we can survive. I want them to see that we can thrive.

And that, to me, is success.

Conclusion

If there’s one thread running through Aiman’s answers, it’s that visibility is not the same as being a symbol. Aiman is clear about not speaking for an entire community, yet equally clear about what the work is for: showing that a life at the intersections of identity can be full, ambitious and ordinary, not just a cautionary tale.

Whether in front of a live audience at Carnival Haus or on a screen in someone else’s story, Aiman’s aim stays the same: to be comfortable, to choose freely and to show others like Aiman that surviving is only the start.

The Unfiltered Gays Season 4 is now streaming/airing on Youtube.